I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize