people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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