he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
