There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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