Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize