finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
