I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
