I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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