my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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