There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
