i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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