dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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