if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
