"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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