just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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