The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
