no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
