pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize