I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I've blown a few things in my day
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Randomize
