everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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