I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
