Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
