I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
