Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
