Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
