I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize