dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my sisters under your porch take her home
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
