Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
These tits shall not be calmed
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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