She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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