we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
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