i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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