he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
