remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
