last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
