2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He shit in the fireplace
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
