He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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