I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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