If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Randomize
