To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You ruined the universe
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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