You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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