you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
