it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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