Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize