i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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