jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
