Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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