I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
