She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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