I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
