In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize