maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Sorry about my life...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
