I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
