Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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