I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
