i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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