thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
