I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
