you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I would ride that face into the sunset
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
