That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize