what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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