Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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