But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I had to cum in my sink.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize