Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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