There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
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